Wednesday, November 30, 2011


So, I haven't blogged in a while.  Which is a good thing, because I wasn't allowing my risk to take over my thoughts and my life.

Then I discovered my ex, THE ex's, wife (whom I adore) was diagnosed with BC AND is High Risk only to further learn she is BRCA+.  Talk about close to home.  Then I became curious:

  •  is she on as strict of a surveillance regimen as I am?
  • did her doctors inform her of her options?
  • did they know the severity of the gene?  
Then I became pissed thinking she might not have received the same severity of surveillance that I receive and that all women, every woman, especially THIS woman should receive that same level of attention.

Then I received my pretty pink postcard letting me know they're scheduling January.  And I still haven't called.  Why?  Because I'm scared.  Because this shit never ends.  Because every once in a while it feels better to put my head in a hole and act like I know nothing.  But her response echoes my reasoning for testing even if my risk is lower:
Knowledge is power and as scary as it is being in the driver seat beats being taken down the road by cancer.


  1. Make the appointment, then go do something nice for yourself. I'd go with you if I could. Sending you {{{{hugs}}}}

  2. Thanks! I'm going tomorrow:). Sometimes it just takes a little longer to screw my head on straight.