I feel good today. I went straight to the source and found out that my health insurance provider will cover 80% of the genetic testing! Which means only a $640 expense to me, only! Something about having this concrete information has helped me settle down a bit and I can honestly say I forgot about this 33% weight on my chest. Okay so I haven't forgotten but I am not thinking about it as much.
I do think about it whenever I see someone with fake boobs though. Is that what mine would look like? Would people notice them and assume I just wanted fake big boobs (as opposed to my real big boobs)? Why do I care? Do you keep the nipple? Are they BRCA carriers?
But today I feel good. I'm coming more to terms with other people not getting it too. I am handling this journey the way I handle things and in the end I know whatever decision I make will be based on research, thought, and what's best for me. I will not make any rash decisions in vain based upon a yes or no moment at a geneticist. I feel good today.