Wednesday, January 26, 2011


Alicia Keys sings the line so beautifully: 
'Cause I'm a Superwoman, yes I am, yes she is, even when I'm a mess, I still put on a vest, with an S on my chest, oh yes, I'm a Superwoman.'
Truer words couldn't be spoken about women who wear their scars on their chests, proof that they too are Superwomen.  Daily, I look down at the pysical remains of my biopsy.  One straw-sized healing incinsion (soon to be scar) and a half dollar sized bruise.  Had either of these appeared anywhere else on my body, I probably would have never noticed, and if I had I would have no idea how I did that (I'm not exactly graceful).  But these two circles, these two tiny spots stare back at me, daily.  A daily reminder of Biopsy One. 

These two little spots, markers, alterations in my physical being change the way I see myself.  They change the way I feel about myself.  How will I see myself 5 years from now, 10, 20?  How many spots, markers alterations will I have then?  How will I feel about myself then?

They make me wonder, how many biopsy holes will I acquire in a lifetime?  If I make it through this life cancer free, how many tokens of surveillance will be left behind?  How different will my chest look on my last day even if I never have cancer, which is of course the best case scenario.  I contemplate buying a snug white shirt, and placing some sort of marker on my biopsy spot and recording my history externally like the pathologists mark my history internally.  A Previvor Souvenir if you will.

You see, that's why Previvors have a term, have a community, why our prevention choices don't matter in the long run (surveillance vs mastectomy).  We make not be sick, but we do have the scars to prove it.

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